Outtake #3
EPOV
Bella’s naked body laid out before me was by far one of the most stunning sights I had ever seen. I had anticipated it all night long. From the moment we met at the mall she took my breath away, and in that instant I wanted to take her in completely. She was a casual beauty in jeans and a little tee. Her demeanor was cool and calm, but I wondered if she felt the same inner turmoil I did. Yet here and now with nothing between our bodies but a sheer latex barrier, far more than our flesh was exposed to one another.
In a foreign, almost teenage way, she made me nervous, excited, confused and uninhibited all at once. Regardless, our course was set, and she allowed me the access to the body that had been home to many recent fantasies. I kissed her everywhere I could. I touched her in ways that made her mewl and cry out, and those reactions further incited my resolve to worship every inch of her perfection. Her cries of passion were music to my ears, and I would compose a symphony upon her if she would allow me to do so.
I didn’t hesitate to take what I wanted from her because in doing so I gave myself over to her just the same. Bringing her pleasure fed my need and spurned me onward. Each touch was a silent whisper of adoration. Each kiss was an unspoken plea for more of her body and her mind. With each shift of my hips I was pleading my case in hopes that she would allow me to be with her this way again in the future. I kept my eyes on hers as much as I could. Getting lost in her chocolate brown heaven, I tried to communicate to her all the intensity of emotions she made me feel. The words were forbidden and could not be spoken under the circumstances, but we could have this together. I willed her to understand me.
It all culminated in the most mind blowing sex I’ve ever had in my life.
I love sex. I am a man, I have dick, and therefore I love sex. But the intimacy I shared with Bella was something greater. I should have felt ashamed to think such a thing and place her on a higher pedestal of sorts than my own wife, but it was undeniable. When our bodies coalesced, I felt at home. Somehow, her body knew exactly how to work with mine and how to respond to mine. Our movements were eerily in synch, and bringing each other to our peak felt natural. There was no need for the tricks or toys I had grown accustomed to with my wife. All that we needed was to do what came to us instinctively, and we were both lost in the ecstasy of it all. I could not fault her for digging her fingernails into my skin in the heat of passion because I felt the intensity myself, but I couldn’t let her continue. To my surprise, my forceful distraction only seemed to encourage her as she begged me for release.
When I let go and fell down upon her hot, sweaty form beneath me, I knew in my heart that this would never be enough for me. Bella had captured something within me, and I could not get it back. She may not have realized it, even when I offered her my genuine words of praise and affection, but deep inside me I understood.
But as enraptured as I was in Bella in the sexual sense, I was certain my desire for her went far beyond our intimate encounters. The need to know her washed over my like a tidal wave, and with it came the hunger for her to know me as well. I was automatically hesitant to tell her about my family, but anything else I could give to her I would. So when she began to ask me about the art that adorned my body, I was eager to share my stories with her. Lost in the newly discovered pleasure of opening up to her, I was caught off guard when she asked about the tattoo I’d gotten for Finn.
“They’re my son’s initials,” I told her as casually as I could manage. I prayed she could not hear the nervous edge in my voice, or worse that she would freak out and run away from me. That may have been the more sensible reaction, but it was not the one I wanted her to have.
I watched in shame as the post coitus rose hue disappeared from her skin in a tell tale blanch. She uneasily questioned me, and like a coward I lied and tried to play things off as if she were the forgetful one. I managed a half smile, but I did not mean it. I was already breaking all the rules and lying to my wife. Lying to Bella just seemed to make the entire situation even worse.
Some unspoken contemplation danced in her eyes, but she finally dropped the subject with an uncomfortable shrug. I quickly took advantage of the opportunity for a distraction and led her upstairs to watch a movie.
I settled into the couch, half laying so that she could curl up against my chest while she rested between my legs. We draped a blanket over ourselves, which afforded me the opportunity to continue touching and exploring her skin without putting it on display for Mike. Bella quickly made herself comfortable, and the tension from my early admission seemed to leave her mind. I barely paid attention to the movie, but I appreciated the two hour window it gave me to snuggle up with her.
At one point, while absentmindedly stroking her smooth stomach beneath the hem of her shirt, I realized that this simple act was something I hadn’t done with my own wife in ages. We kissed in greeting and were casually affection at times, but I could not remember the last time we had just sat together this way and enjoyed the feel of the other’s warm body. We didn’t even touch each other in bed anymore unless we were having sex. The worst part was that I didn’t miss it or crave it. I had always been content with the way we were, and apart from our recent - and fleeting - sexual revival, she was almost always the one to initiate any form of affection. That realization made me feel like an utter shit head, but Carissa never verbalized any complaints or concerns over that little fact. Her attempt were so few and far between as it was, it didn’t seem to make much of a difference anyway.
A shift in Bella’s position brought me back to the present, and I noticed her burying her nose in my shirt. I smiled at the way she was inhaling my scent, and I tilted my nose toward her hair to do the same. Her head tipped slightly to look up at me and return the smile, and we both angled ourselves in for a chaste kiss. Just as naturally as it occurred, we both returned our attention to the television screen and continued our cuddling.
When I drove Bella back to her car a short time later, we were both quiet and peaceful. I was genuinely happy to simply be there with her, and she seemed to share my sentiment. I wondered if her thoughts mirrored mine in any way, but I tried not to over think it too much. I was struck with an understanding that if she were thinking anything negative about our evening together, I would have been sorely disappointed. I should have hoped she would not return my growing feelings, but I feared that was not the case. From what I could see and feel between us, she was caught up in this little affair just as much as me. She was easy to talk to and be around, and there were still a million things I wanted to know about her. If she desired my time, my presence, or my friendship, I would readily give it to her. I told her I wanted to see her again and she willingly agreed.
I was completely unsure of how to proceed, but proceed I would.
Something told me that Bella was worth the risk. I could not deny the draw to her anymore; it went beyond physical attraction. These feelings were inexplicable, but I liked them. I would somehow find a way to explore this relationship with Bella Swan.
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