Jasper POV
I walked through the door and was greeted with the delicious scent of peppers, onions, and chicken. I could hear the sizzle of a frying pan, and as soon as I crossed the threshold inside the apartment, I saw Bella at the stove.
She looked so content and in her element as she prepared dinner, humming and swiveling to the music playing through the stereo speakers. I knew she heard my entrance when she looked up, offering me a sweet smile. As I approached her, she puckered her lips expectantly for my kiss.
Life was good. Not easy by any means, but good.
No matter how happy we were, I knew Bella still suffered. I could see it in her eyes and sense it whenever something came up about our move and the need to retrieve the rest of her belongings from Alice's apartment.
We fell into an easy routine quite fast. I had never lived with a girlfriend before, but I had a few roommates over the years. Living with another person was difficult enough, but doing so with a lover was a huge commitment. I feared that the arrangement would have the potential to drive Bella away. The only man she had ever lived with was her father, and that was with the buffer of her mother and their parental roles in her life. This was something completely different.
Surprisingly, she took to it all quite well. I assumed that part of it was our “honeymoon” stage we were still experiencing, but I held out hope that she was truly acclimating to our new lifestyle without any hindrances.
Each day was something new and exciting to me. Some days, I would return home first, and other days, Bella would be the one to greet me when I came back from working on the mural. The project was almost finished, and we were making arrangements for our big move to San Diego. Not only did we have all our personal belongings to sort and pack, there was also Bella's studio to consider. We cleared out as much of her equipment as possible and contacted a realtor to sell the space.
As for San Diego, I managed to find the most perfect option possible. Peter made a few connections, and a realtor there found us a building that included an old, closed storefront with an ample sized apartment on the second floor. We could easily convert the store into a studio that Bella and I could share, and the apartment was the perfect addition.
I could hardly believe that things were falling into place so well for our future.
“This smells great,” I complimented Bella after giving her a brief kiss.
Our evening was pretty routine after that. Routine, but not boring in the least.
We shared dinner, discussed our day, and then moved on to other activities. Sometimes that included reading, watching television or playing cards. Every so often we went out together. More often than not, some form of intimacy was included in our nights together. I did not tire of Bella's company, and I could not fathom that ever happening to us.
Despite all our happiness, I could tell that the Alice situation still bothered Bella immensely. As far as I knew, they had only spoken once since the day Bella went over to retrieve her belongings. It was not a pleasant experience for Bella, and she preferred not to discuss it.
I knew she still felt extremely guilty for the way things occurred. No matter how much I tried to convince her that it was for the best, she still struggled. She had to find her own way through this, and in the end, she would need to make peace with Alice and their relationship to gain full closure. All I could do was stand by and offer my support.
“I spoke to Peter today,” I told her as we sat down to eat dinner. Bella had placed all the ingredients for fajitas on the table while I brought in plates, forks, and two beers. “This looks amazing, by the way.”
She smiled at the compliment before speaking. “What did he have to say?”
“He said everything went well with the walk through today, and he’ll be able to fax all the papers to the lawyer tomorrow. Our appointment is all set for tomorrow afternoon,” I explained. “Does that work for you?”
“Yeah,” she smiled dreamily. “I’m really just tying up loose ends with clients and packing the studio. I can’t believe we’re really doing this.”
“I know,” I replied, reaching over and laying my hand on top of hers. “I’m so happy.”
“Me too.”
We ate Bella’s delicious meal between pleasant conversation. I smiled inwardly at how wonderful it was to share this space with her and have someone to come home to at night. Our future had so much potential, and I was itching to get to San Diego and begin our life there together. I believed that a change of scenery would help her more than she realized. Staying here, surrounded by all her memories of Alice couldn’t be easy. I mourned the loss of Alice’s friendship, but I couldn’t deny how happy I was to call Bella mine. We had been so happy in the weeks since the threesome debacle, and I couldn’t begrudge myself for that.
As we carried the dishes to the kitchen and began cleaning up, I approached a topic we couldn’t avoid for much longer.
“Bella, sweetie, we need to figure out when you’re going to get the rest of your things from Alice’s apartment.”
The clank of dishes falling haphazardly into the sink sent me to her side instantly.
“I…I don’t know if I can go over there,” she said, her voice shaky and unsure.
“Shh, it’s all right,” I soothed, pulling her against me. “I know it’s not easy, but you need to stop feeling guilty about this. It hurts me too, but we need to move forward. She’ll be okay eventually.”
“Eventually,” Bella huffed, obviously berating herself once more.
“Enough of that. Why don’t you go take a bath while I finish cleaning up all this. You cooked, so it’s my turn anyway.”
She tried to protest, but I wouldn’t hear it and sent her off to relax for a while. I breathed a sigh of relief when I heard the water running in the bathroom. Fifteen minutes later, I was kneeling at the side of the tub, running a soapy bath puff across her back.
Everything went well with the lawyer the next day. Peter sat with the realtor and lawyer in San Diego while Bella and I held hands beneath the table at our lawyer’s office. The process took a little longer than the usual closing since we had to fax so many documents and converse over speaker phone, but it all worked out in the end. I took Bella out for a late lunch to celebrate afterward, and then she headed back to the studio to finish some more packing. I could have gone home, but I made a last minute decision and changed course.
Standing in front of the familiar building, I took note of Alice’s car and headed upstairs.
“Coming!” she called from within the apartment after I knocked on the door. “Oh!” was her shocked response when she saw me.
“Hey,” I said softly. I held out a bottle of red wine and was not surprised when she scowled but finally allowed me to enter.
“What can I do for you, Jasper?”
I scanned the apartment as she led me inside. For the most part, things looked the same. The only real difference was that Alice’s laptop sat on the dining room table, surrounded by a slew of papers, folders, and notepads. I wondered what she was up to, but didn’t dwell on it for long.
“I was hoping we could talk,” I said. “Care for a drink?” I held the wine up again and she signaled me to follow her into the kitchen.
Watching her retrieve two wineglasses from the cupboard and a bottle opener from the wine rack, I noticed that she looked impossibly thinner than the last time we’d been together. The thought of Alice losing weight made me feel sick. She was already a wisp of a woman. Dropping pounds was the last thing she needed to do. A surge of guilt hit me, but I pushed it back and kept my focus on the purpose of this visit.
Once the wine was poured, we sat on opposite sides of the kitchen island and stared at one another. When she raised her eyebrows expectantly, I took a deep breath and began.
“I came to apologize.”
“Too little, too late,” she said flatly. It stung, and I think she knew it.
“Is it really? Alice, you have to know this wasn’t something I planned. God, you have no idea how much it has torn me apart to know I’ve played a part in hurting you.”
“And you have no idea how devastating it is to see someone you consider one of your closest friends fuck your girlfriend,” she snapped. She swallowed the contents of her wine and poured a second glass.
I raked a hand through my hair and stared guiltily at her. “I know I deserve every ounce of spite you have for me, Alice, but I didn’t come here to fight. Bella is a wonderful, special, amazing woman. You know this. Can you really blame me for falling in love with her?”
Tears streamed down her face as she processed my words.
“You love her?”
“Yeah,” I admitted. “A whole fucking lot. I know you do, too. I can see it in your eyes that you still do, and that makes me hate myself so much more.”
“Good,” she sniffled.
I pursed my lips and considered my words carefully. “Sorry will never be enough, Alice. I get that. This was the last thing I ever expected when I came here, but meeting Bella has turned my entire world upside down. From what you’ve both told me, it wasn’t so different when you girls met.”
“So what makes you think she won’t do the same thing to you?” Alice challenged. “How do you know she won’t leave you for the next spark?”
I could sense the defiance and bitterness in her tone, but I didn’t take any offense to it. As difficult as it was for me to come to her and make amends, it was surely twice as hard for her to discuss this with me. I had essentially stolen Bella from her.
“I can feel it,” I told her honestly. “This is forever. I know it is.”
We sat in silence for several minutes, not really meeting each other’s eyes. The thin bases of our wine glasses clinked against the granite countertop, breathy sighs permeated the air, and anxious fingers drummed against the island.
“It is,” she finally said in a whisper so quiet I barely heard it.
“Excuse me?” I asked.
“It is forever,” she clarified. I just sat there, stunned speechless. “I could see it in the way you looked at one another. Even before that whole mess, there was something in both your eyes. I guess I wasn’t allowing myself to see it for what it really was, but once I saw you together…intimate…I understood.”
“I’m sorry,” I said for what felt like the thousandth time.
“I know.” After a long pause, she said something that made my heart thunder in my chest. “She loves you, too.”
Bella loves me? Bella loves me! We hadn’t said it yet, but the feeling owned me. I believed that Bella shared those emotions with me, but under the circumstances, I hadn’t brought it up yet. I thought that purchasing a studio and apartment together and moving to a new state was a pretty big reassurance of our love. We didn’t need words. Still, the sheer thrill of hearing Alice acknowledge it was incredible.
We sat together for a long time talking things through as we drained the bottle of wine. I was thankful that I had purchased the larger size because we needed the time to sort things out and make peace. When Alice excused herself to use the bathroom, I sent Bella a text letting her know that I was caught up in something and would be home late. She seemed disappointed but did not complain.
The conversation with Alice seemed to help both of us immensely. It didn’t lessen her pain or my guilt at all, but it was a necessary evil. I could not bear the thought of leaving without at least attempting to clear the air.
I informed her of our plans to move to San Diego together, as she already knew about my new job. She seemed happy for us in a distant sort of way. I had prepared myself for a breakdown, but there seemed to be some unspoken hope behind her words that she wasn’t sharing. I accepted her need for privacy and didn’t press the issue.
When our time drew to a natural close, Alice walked me to the door. To my surprise, she wrapped her arms around me and buried her face in my ribs. Our height difference was humorous, as I was quite tall and she was rather short. Nonetheless, her arms wrapped around my waist and mine draped over her shoulders.
“Good luck,” she whispered as she looked up at me. “I hope you find what you’re looking for in California.”
“I’ll take care of her,” I promised, brushing a tear away from her cheek with my thumb.
“Thank you.”
As I made my way home to Bella, I felt more grateful than ever to have her in my life. Speaking to Alice had been awkward and uncomfortable at first, but it seemed to turn out well in the end. She was slightly worse for the wear, but she was no longer the furious mess of a woman, sputtering words of hate and anger at me. We had made arrangements for Bella and me to come over and pack up the rest of her things, and I knew Bella would be relieved to know she didn’t have to plan that out herself.
I finished the mural several days later, and an appointment was set with the movers to collect all our belongings. It was a big job, so we had things done in stages. Bella’s studio and my collection of art supplies were packed and moved first. Peter would be in San Diego to oversee the arrival. Bella and I were to retrieve the remainder of her belongings from Alice’s apartment and put them in our spare room until the movers came to clear the apartment. She was not taking any furniture, so we would be able to load boxes and other small items into our cars. All our personal and home items would be transported in the second shipment, along with our cars towed behind the moving truck.
Bella was understandably hesitant to visit her former home and lover, but it had to be done. I assured her that I would be there with her and that if she needed time to speak to Alice alone, I would be comfortable with that. I had to practically drag her over, and by the time we stood in the hall outside the apartment, she was fidgeting nervously.
“Bella, sugar, calm down,” I said stroking her back. “Everything is going to be okay. I’ve cleared the air with her already, and she knows we’re coming. This isn’t easy, but it’s necessary.”
“I know, but I still feel like I’m going to puke all over your shoes.”
“My shoes? Why my shoes?” I teased. My fingers ran down her sides and I tickled her lightly. It was enough to make her squirm and giggle softly. I was relieved to see her smile.
“Well, I’m wearing my brand new sneakers. You’re wearing those disgusting Doc Martens you’ve had since 1997!” she quipped. “If I puke on them, maybe you’ll finally throw them away and get a new pair!”
“What? That’s quality footwear you’re insulting!”
I held her tighter, squeezing with a little more force and causing her to wriggle in my arms. She was laughing and fighting me off when the door swung open and Alice looked out at us. We froze, probably both expecting to see her scowl or look hurt by our playful antics, but her expression was actually quite pleasant.
“Hey guys,” Alice said sweetly. She stepped back and ushered us inside without changing her tone or demeanor.
Bella glanced at me with a questioning, surprised look, and I just shrugged and smiled. This was a serious relief. There didn’t appear to be any weird or awkward vibes from Alice.
We entered through the foyer, and the sight that met us in the living room made us both gasp.
“What is…? Are you…moving?” Bella stuttered, looking between the stacks of boxes and Alice. I was just as shocked.
“Is it obvious?” Alice asked with a playful smirk.
I shook my head at her carefree regard of the situation. What had happened to the sorrowful woman I had seen a week ago? I was happy for this change of attitude, but it was…strange.
“Alice, where are you moving?” Bella asked. It was actually a bit of a concerned demand, but I didn’t take offense to her sudden outburst.
“Why don’t we all sit down and I can explain?”
With that, we wormed our way between boxes and packing materials and found seats in the living room. Alice sat in the armchair while Bella and I sat side by side on the sofa and held hands.
“Bella, don’t be upset, please,” Alice started. “I hate seeing that look on your face, baby.”
I didn’t respond to her affectionate term, but I knew it caught Bella off guard, as she stiffened slightly.
“What’s this all about?” she asked.
“Well, there’s something I never told you,” Alice said. I was definitely curious with a start like that, so I listened intently. “Ever since I was a little girl, I wanted to go to France. I can remember when I was eight years old and the entire second grade put on a Christmas pageant. In the story, Santa accidentally takes a doll from a home in America when he delivers some presents. The little doll has to visit different places all over the world while Santa makes his Christmas Eve stops. He can’t take her home until all the toys have been delivered. Each second grade class represented a different country. We studied about that country for over a month and learned Christmas carols in that language to perform in the pageant.
“My classroom learned all about France, and we sang two French songs in the pageant. I can still remember them. From that time on, I was completely enraptured by French culture. I wanted to go there and see everything. I wanted to live there.”
“You never told me any of this,” Bella said from beside me. I could hear the hurt and confusion in her voice, but I waited for Alice to give us a greater explanation as to why she was sharing this now.
Alice smiled at Bella, but looked slightly apologetic somehow.
“I know,” she confirmed. “When I was in college, I was able to spend a summer studying in Paris. It was absolutely amazing. I loved everything about it, and I knew that I wanted to go back and live there again. I even researched places I could possibly intern or work.”
I still wondered where this was headed but continued listening.
“Bella, I’m sorry I never told you this. Really. After that trip, my plan was to go back to France after graduate school. Once I had completed my masters, I wanted to live there.”
“Well, why didn’t you?” Bella asked.
“Umm,” Alice muttered hesitantly. “When did we meet?”
“Three years ago,” Bella answered quickly.
It all clicked to me immediately, but I could tell that Bella didn’t understand quite yet.
“Bella, three years ago,” I repeated, hoping it would help her.
She sat quietly for a few moments before the truth dawned on her and her jaw dropped open involuntarily.
“You didn’t go…because of me?” she asked, the pitch of her voice increasing with her disbelief.
“More or less,” Alice said, nodding.
“Oh my god.” Bella slapped her hand over her mouth, shaking her head back and forth. “Your dream. You gave up your dream to be with me? How could you do that, Ali?”
“Bella, I loved you.”
“But that’s…it’s no reason to give up something you waited for your whole life. I can’t…I can’t…”
“Hey, it’s all right,” I soothed. Unhooking our hands, I wrapped my arm around her back and pulled her to me. “Does Alice look upset right now, sugar?”
She glanced at her former girlfriend and then back at me. “No?”
“I’m not, Bella,” Alice affirmed. “It’s all okay, now. Can’t you tell what I’m getting at here?”
Bella shook her head and pressed into me for comfort. Alice scooted forward in her chair and leaned toward Bella. She extended her hands, taking Bella’s between them and offering a firm squeeze.
“I’m finally going back to France, Bella. I get to live out my dream now!”
In a fraction of a second, Bella was out of her seat on the sofa and wrapped around Alice. She hugged her fiercely, kneeling in front of Alice’s chair and rocking their bodies back and forth.
“Congratulations, Alice,” I said, hoping to clear things up and bring Bella back to reality. I didn’t mind her show of affection and happiness for Alice, but I didn’t want things to get weird for anyone. This was still a sensitive situation for all of us.
Bella returned to her seat on the sofa and the two women resumed their conversation. Alice provided more details about her decision and the job she had secured in France, and Bella listened intently. I left them to talk things over, hoping that they would also make amends during this discussion. I picked up a few boxes and went into the bedroom to pack the things I knew belonged to Bella.
Eventually, Bella joined me, and we gathered the rest of her items in boxes that were stacked by the door. Her attitude was better, and I found myself increasingly relieved that this day had turned out so well.
When everything had been packed, we found Alice in the kitchen and bid her goodbye. This was quite possibly the last time we would see her.
I hugged her first.
“I promised you I would take care of her, and that still stands,” I whispered in her ear. “Good luck, Alice.”
She squeezed me rather tightly for someone so small and thanked me for my promise.
I stepped back when Bella moved toward her.
“Bella, don’t worry about me, okay? I will always miss you and I will always love you, but I’m happy. This is a dream come true.”
“I know,” Bella said, fighting back the tears that lingered in her dark eyes. “I’m sorry that I kept you from it for so long.”
“Hey now. Don’t blame yourself for anything. I chose to stay for you. I chose to keep that part of my life a secret, but life has a way of working itself out, doesn’t it?”
Bella nodded in agreement, biting her lip and allowing a few tears to flow.
“Be happy, my Bella,” Alice whispered, but I still heard her. I knew she wasn’t hiding those words from me. It was her emotions that caused the drop in her tone.
“You too,” Bella returned.
I could only watch in silence as Bella pulled away enough to take Alice’s face in her hands. She looked at her seriously for several moments before closing her eyes and planting her lips on Alice’s. They held that position for a few seconds, not deepening the kiss, but clearly saying so much through that action. It brought about a flash of jealousy and possessiveness in my gut, but it was gone as soon as it swelled. I knew this was their final goodbye.
Their foreheads pressed together as they shared one last hug before it was time for us to leave. We made a few trips back and forth between the apartment and the elevator, and then we were gone. Alice, the apartment, and the life Bella lived for three years were all behind us.
It was time for us to move into the future.
Our future.
………………..
A few days later, I was standing behind Bella, arms around her waist and chin on her shoulder as we waited for our suitcases to appear in the baggage claim carousel. Signs throughout the airport proclaimed, Welcome to San Diego, and each one made me smile wider.
We were here.
We were together.
A firm slap against my shoulder made me jump and tighten my grip around Bella. When I turned and realized that it was Peter, I released her and gave him a firm hug.
“Hey man! How’s it going?” I asked.
He smiled at me and then at Bella as I introduced them. Her grin in response was sweet and beautiful, as always. I could immediately see the way she charmed him with a simple look.
“Welcome home,” he told both of us, and she hugged me before repeating the words in my ear.
Life was good.
I had everything I could want or need – a nice home, a great new job, and most importantly, an extraordinary woman at my side.
I couldn’t help but reflect on everything we had gone through to be together. I remembered the first night I saw Bella, trying to hide her face behind her camera but never able to mask her beauty. My lips tingled as I recalled that first kiss in Alice’s office and the way she wrapped herself around me. The months that followed had been the worst kind of torture a man could suffer, but they gave us the opportunity to grow in our friendship and understanding of one another.
Her darkroom was one place I would miss very much. She would have another one here, but it could never hold the memories of that fated day we finally gave in to our passion and desire for one another. My body would forever remember the first taste of Bella’s skin and the incomparable feeling of being inside her for the first time.
More than anything, we had a powerful, lasting bond. My heart was her heart, and I knew it went both ways. We could no longer function or exist apart.
I would always feel remorse for hurting Alice, but you can’t stop what is meant to be. Bella was meant to spend her life in my arms, and Alice was meant to live out her dreams in France. All the details in between were mere technicalities anymore.
When we arrived at our new home, Peter opened the doors to the storefront-turned-studio and encouraged us to look around. Boxes upon boxes of our belongings littered the vast space, and I was eager to begin getting things unpacked and in order. Bella beamed as she spun around in circles over and over again, taking in every square inch of her new workspace.
Peter’s phone beeped, and he excused himself to make a call, handing off the keys to our apartment upstairs before stepping outside. With a smile, I took Bella’s hand and pulled her up the staircase at the back of the studio. At the top, I unlocked the door and pushed it open.
“What are you waiting for?” she asked when I held her back.
“This.”
I swept her off her feet and cradled her in my arms. Kissing her once, I carried her through the archway of our new home. As I set her back on her feet, I pinned her against the wall, using my arms to cage in her petite body.
“Home,” she said softly…reverently.
A hum and nod were all I gave her in return with my playful smirk.
I was so fucking happy.
“Home,” I repeated, delighting in the way that word tasted on my tongue.
My mouth crashed against hers in wild abandon until she stopped my needful moans by giggling and pushing me away. Her chin tipped down in a coy gesture, but she glanced up at me through her eyelashes.
“Jasper…”
“Bella…”
“I love you,” we blurted simultaneously, smiling at our moment. It was the first time we had spoken those words to one another, and it was perfect.
………………..
Love is the sharpest of double-edged swords, opening our hearts to the greatest joy and the most terrible pain.
~Our end. Their beginning.~
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