Not Meant To Be - Chapter 11

 

Chapter 11

Song:  You’re So Damn Hot by OK Go

I screwed up the names early in the story, so since Edward is a Cullen, Emmett & Carlisle are McCartys.

The next few months after going to Seattle with Edward fell into an easy pattern. I went to work during the days, hit the gym afterward, and enjoyed my social life in the evenings. Almost every Wednesday and Saturday was spent with Jacob in some capacity. Sometimes we were alone, but we usually hung out with our friends before going home together. Thursdays and Fridays were spent working with Rosalie, and I started putting away a portion of the money I made to help me get out of my ghetto fabulous apartment when my lease ended. Sunday, Monday and Tuesday nights varied. Sometimes they would be spent with Rose, other times Jacob or Edward, and occasionally Garrett.

There was actually very little drama, and I was grateful for that.  I was comfortable with my lifestyle for the time being.

Edward and I continued to talk on the phone several times a week, and I saw him almost every week. We didn't venture out often, opting to hang out at my apartment or Mike's house, since that was simply easy and safe. It wasn’t necessarily my favorite place to go, but as long as Mike kept his eyes and hands to himself, I appreciated him opening his home to us.  I never questioned Edward’s excuses to get out of the house as that was his business, and when he said it was time to go I didn't bother to complain. It was disappointing that we couldn't spend the night together like I did with my other guys, but that was all a part of the arrangement. I wanted to know what it would feel like to fall asleep in his arms and wake up beside him, but there were just certain things that I learned to accept when it came to Edward.  Not being able to share that kind of intimacy was one of them.

I really did like spending time with him – both clothed and not – so I just enjoyed it while I could. I stayed quiet when his wife called his phone, I listened to stories about his son, and I took his sentiments toward me with a grain of salt. Sure, I had feelings for him, but I knew I had feelings for Jacob and Garrett, too. The relationship and dynamic I shared with each of them was unique, but there was just something about Edward. I found the easiest thing to do was build a wall around myself so that I didn't get attached and tread lightly where we were concerned. That way, I wasn't left feeling disappointed or upset when he didn't call or couldn't get out of the house.

Hell, I even helped him pick out Christmas gifts for his wife. We brought out the Victoria's Secret catalog one night and chose clothes, lingerie and my favorite lotion scents that he would get for her. Twisted? Absolutely, but it was also sort of fun. In some small way, it felt like our Christmas gift to one another since we didn't exchange anything otherwise. That didn't feel appropriate, nor did he want to explain a mystery gift when he got home. Instead, I had the satisfaction of knowing that whenever he saw his wife in the things I picked out or smelled the Amber Romance on her skin, it would remind him of me. Truthfully, I hoped he would picture me in the lacy bras whenever she wore them.

Christmas was not remiss, however. Emmett had somehow managed to convince Carlisle and Tanya to come up for the holiday, though I'm sure it took quite a fight. Emmett's mom usually went down to California to see him every year, and it had been ages since Uncle Carlisle had left the Golden State. Charlie was thrilled to have them all in town and so was I.

I went with Emmett to see his mom on Christmas Eve, and it was a pretty quiet evening. She was absolutely thrilled to have her son “home” for the holidays, and it was really nice for me to see her again. She had only been my aunt through marriage, but she was always so sweet and kind.  As a child, she was like a second mother to me, but I had only seen her a few times since the divorce. I felt a pang of guilt for not keeping in touch over the years. I think she read it in my eyes because she pulled me aside before we left to assure me that she never harbored any animosity toward my family and said that it was lovely to see me again.

In true mother form, she flourished Emmett and me with a huge meal, a Christmas cookie spread that could feed the Seahawks, and Italian espresso after dinner. She gave him a small stack of beautifully wrapped gifts that included clothes, books, and a scrapbook of photos and mementos from his childhood. The tears he blinked back as he looked through it were so sweet. She also had a gift for me – a Dooney & Burke purse I never could have purchased for myself. I loved it and thanked her with a sly smile that I believe we both understood to be an acknowledgment of Carlisle's hefty alimony.

Emmett, however, truly outdid his mother when it came to money spent on gifts. There were cashmere sweaters, a tanzanite ring and matching necklace, a top of the line GPS navigation system for her car, a set of Louis Vuitton luggage, and one thousand count satin sheets for her bed. I was in utter shock. I knew Emmett was doing well with his club, but I never imagined he was doing that well. I reluctantly questioned him about it on the way back to my parents' house.

“Just say what you're thinking, Bella,” he said with a poke to my ribs.

“Umm, exactly how much money do you make because all that was just, wow. I mean, all that probably cost more than I make in a year!” My voice held both excitement and embarrassment.

Of course Emmett laughed. He laughs at everything. I watched his boyish dimples appear as he turned to me and shook his head.

“Let's just say I make enough to live comfortably in Los Angeles, but not as much as you're probably thinking right now,” he continued between chuckles. “It's like this, Belly Button – when my dad took me away from my mom, I always felt like I was abandoning her, even though it wasn't my fault.”

“It wasn't,” I reassured him. He continued without acknowledging my comment.

“When I finally had some money of my own, I knew I wanted to do something for her. Something more than just the cushion dad provides. So I took a portion of my trust fund and set it up in a stock portfolio specifically for her. I add a little bit to it with my personal income from Rendezvous, and it gives me more than enough every year to spoil her. She won't take money from me, but she's too polite to turn down gifts.”

I was too stunned to speak right away. Eventually, I did.

“Wow...Emmett, that's...you are such an amazing son.”

He shrugged and half smiled. “It's nothing, really. I wish I could be spending more time with her, but she likes it up here for some reason. It's really the least I can do to make up for it.”

I nodded in agreement and we rode home in silence.

Christmas morning was much busier at home with my parents and the three McCartys. The Swan household had never seen so many gifts exchanged, so it was quite an event that took up much of the morning. After coffee and bagels, the men all settled down to watch football while my mom and I worked on dinner. Tanya was surprisingly good in the kitchen, and I mentally scolded myself for assuming she couldn't be domestic. She told us she enjoyed cooking on occasion, and that she hadn't done any since she moved into Carlisle's mansion. I wouldn't quite say I liked her, but she was pleasant enough under the circumstances. I'm not sure my opinion would hold if I had to spend an extended amount of time with her, but this was a special occasion and I was able to push any snide thoughts out of my mind.

We enjoyed an afternoon meal and relaxed together afterward. It was really nice having a larger group together for Christmas, and I could tell by his incessant smile and boisterous attitude that Emmett was pleased as well.

I had plans to meet Jacob and Rosalie at Felix's house that night, so when the time came, I convinced Emmett to get out of the house for a while and come with me. On the way over, I gave him the rundown on Felix and Rose's relationship and also got him up to speed with the Jacob situation.

“I have to hand it to you, Bells, that is one of the most convenient fuck buddy relationships I've ever heard of,” he said in a reverent tone.

“It seriously doesn't bother you to hear about my sex life?” I questioned.

He huffed a quick laugh at me and smiled. “When has it ever bothered me to talk about anyone's sex life – especially yours?”

“I don't know,” I shrugged. “I just wanted to make sure with it being such a complicated situation.”

“Doesn't sound complicated to me. You get together when you want, everything else is don't ask, don't tell. Guys dream of girls like you, hun.”

“Okay, maybe complicated was the wrong word for it. I guess it just feels that way because I'm the one in the middle of it, but you're right, it's not really complicated. It is what it is. I hope you like him. And everyone else,” I said with a genuine smile.

I wasn't sure how this would all go over. Emmett is a really easy going guy, as are all my guy friends, but we lived in two different worlds. There is a big difference from the suburbs of Washington and the VIP club scene of Los Angeles. I also didn't want any of the guys to feel threatened by another man being around, even if he is my cousin. Conversely, I knew that Emmett would want to make sure these guys were taking care of me and treating me right since I spend so much of my time with them. They didn't technically owe me any protection or anything like that, but in a way they did. I'm an independent woman, but it's natural for men to be defensive about women around them. It's a caveman thing. I knew these guys would step up to the plate for me if I needed it, but Emmett didn't. Tonight was his chance to see that.

For some reason, I also felt apprehensive for Emmett to meet Jacob. Even though we were not a couple, Jake was the closest thing I had to a relationship. Emmett has always been overprotective when it comes to me and my boyfriends, but since James, he's been wary. I couldn't really put my finger on it, but I did want to know that he approved of Jake. The anticipation for that meeting promised an interesting evening.

The other thing I was looking forward to was Garrett. I knew all the other guys would make their way over to the house eventually, and Garrett was sure to be there. I explained to Emmett that I sometimes fooled around with one of the other guys, but it was a secret to everyone other than Rosalie. He insisted that I give him the opportunity to watch the interaction between me and the guys, and he would make his guess about which one I was involved with other than Jake. I’ll admit that I was looking forward to that game. I also wanted to know if it would be me or Garrett to give it away with body language and flirtations.

When we arrived, Rosalie's car was the only one in the drive. We walked up to the door and went in without knocking, as I always did.

“Rose? Felix? We're here!” I sang through the empty kitchen.

I heard paper rustling, then footsteps quickly approaching from the living room. Rosalie appeared in the doorway wearing a tight red cable knit sweater that dipped low into her cleavage and paired it with form fitting jeans. As always, she looked amazing. She bounded over to me in a few springy steps and threw her arms around my neck, hugging and kissing me before pulling away to look up at Emmett.

“I'm Rosalie,” she smiled, extending her hand to him. “You must be Emmett. I've heard so much about you from Bella.”

He lifted her hand and instead of shaking it, he brought it to his mouth to kiss it.

Huh? Very un-Emmetty.

We exchanged a few more introductions and pleasantries before heading into the living room and settling on the couches in front of a beautifully decorated tree. I knew it was Rose's handiwork in this very manly house. Felix brought in a few bottles of beer for us and we sat together chatting about our respective days with our families.

A little while later, I heard the door in the kitchen creak and I jumped up to go meet Jacob as he came inside. As soon as he saw me, his face lit up and he wore the biggest smile. Without removing his coat or setting down the bag of gifts he carried in, he wrapped his arms around me, placing a sweet kiss on my lips.

“Merry Christmas, beautiful.”

“Merry Christmas to you, too, Jake. Did you have a nice day?” I asked.

“Sure. It's even better now,” he said.

I couldn't help but smile at him and blush a little. I was looking forward to giving him his gift and really hoping he would like it.

“Come on,” I said, stopping at the fridge to get him a beer before pulling him into the living room. “I want you to meet my cousin!”

As it turned out, Emmett got along with Jacob as well as he had been with Felix. It put me at peace, and every time I glanced at him nervously, he would wink and carry on with his conversation. Sometimes, I'm really glad I never had a big brother. If I had, I don't think my relationship with my cousin would have been what it is today.

“Okay you crazy kids,” Emmett eventually announced with a loud clap of his hands. I jumped a little bit in surprise, but suppressed it with a giggle. “Let's see you open some presents. I had to carry them in here, I may as well get to see them!”

We all agreed and started unpacking and arranging the items we each brought in front of us.

“I'll go first,” Felix volunteered. He handed me and Jake each a package and waited for us to open them. Mine was a warm fleece Mariners stadium blanket. I wrapped it around myself and thanked him for his generosity.  My dad, a huge Mariners fan, would be jealous of this gift.

We continued the exchange for a while, and Rosalie and I had the most humorous moment of the evening. One of the gifts she gave me was heavy and bulky in a gift bag. When I pulled the items out to find a bottle of Three Olives cherry vodka and a six pack of Redbull, I burst into tearful hysterics. I'm sure everyone thought I was crazy, but Rosalie's reaction was the same as mine when I handed her another bag – a gift from me to her – that contained the exact same items.

“Great minds think alike!” she exclaimed between gasps for air and obnoxious laughter.

“It's a sign, Rose! Time for shots!” I announced proudly, grabbing the bags and heading for the kitchen.

Several minutes later, we emerged with a tray full of plastic cups.

“Cherry bombs, boys?” Rosalie said sweetly.

I giggled and set the tray on the coffee table. We all took our shots, laughing and talking together until the third round was gone and the tray was empty. The humor in the fact that Rose and I gave each other our favorite vodka and the additional mixer for our signature shot was more than enough to keep us giddy for the rest of the night. Consuming the actual liquor was just a bonus. We were in total BFF mode now.

Once settled, we resumed our previous positions and focused on the last presents for the evening, which just so happened to be Jacob and I exchanging our gifts.

He insisted I go first, so I pulled out the rectangular box wrapped in shiny silver paper. I glanced at Felix, who winked at me, then back to Jacob. He laughed at my big red bow as he unraveled it, leaning over to whisper in my ear.

“I'd be happy if it was just you beneath the bow,” he said so that only I could hear.

I could feel my cheeks burn and hear the murmurs from our friends, but I kept my eyes on him and gave him a kiss on the cheek.

“Open,” I said.

He removed the paper to reveal a black box, which made my leg bounce up and down in anticipation. If Felix was right, this gift would go over very well.

At the top of the box was a pair of fingerless black leather gloves. They were the best, apparently, flexible and soft, but treated specially so that they were extremely durable. Jacob smiled and kissed the top of my head as he tried them on, and I gestured back into the box. Beneath where the gloves had been was a photo of a pair of black boots with a gift certificate under it.

“What's this?” he asked.

I smiled wide with excitement. “I couldn't very well pick out the right pair of riding boots for you, so you'll have to go do that yourself.”

“Bella! Wow!” he exclaimed, pulling me into a tight hug and rocking me around. “This is great. I can't believe you...wow...I love it all...you are...wow, great!”

I received a tender kiss while everyone else laughed at our scene, and when we sat back up there was a box in my lap. It was small and rectangular, and unmistakably a necklace box wrapped in green paper with a white bow. My heart jumped into my throat when I saw it, making me gasp softly.

“Well come on already,” Emmett said, bringing me out of my daze.

Okay, it's probably just something simple. Nothing to freak out about. Hell, it might not even be what you think it is. Stop being an idiot, Bella, and just open it.

I glanced around the room to see Emmett and Felix looking impatient, Rosalie smirking, and Jacob beaming. I turned the box over and carefully ran my finger beneath where the paper met, breaking the seal the invisible bit of tape had made there. I pulled the paper off and was met with an unmistakable blue-green box.

Tiffany&Co.

OMFG!

With a hand I was trying desperately to keep from shaking, I pulled the lid off the box to find a simple silver chain. It was light and delicate, and as I took it from the soft cushion inside, I saw an elegant butterfly pendent dangling from the chain.

My eyes moved to Jacob, who was obviously proud, and I let my thoughts be heard aloud.

“Jake, this is beautiful. You really shouldn't have. I mean, it's just gorgeous.  I love it.”

I held the necklace out to him and then turned my back to him on the couch. I gathered my hair in a makeshift ponytail in my hands and pulled it off to one side so he could clasp the necklace around my neck. When he was done, he placed his hands on my shoulders and kissed me lightly on the neck. I turned and threw my arms around him, further communicating my thanks in a deep, passionate kiss.

Emmett interrupted us a few moments later with a cough, and that was followed by soft laughter from the rest of us in the room. Always knowing how to diffuse tension or awkwardness in a room, Rosalie spoke up.

“Bella, babe, let's go make some more shots!”

We were in the kitchen pouring vodka into a long line of cups when the door swung open with a bang. With huge smiles on their faces, Garrett, Ben, Jared and Pete strolled into the house. Their arms were full of cases of beer, liquor bottles in brown paper bags, and a twelve pack of Coke.

“Merry Christmas!” Jared yelled loud enough for the guys in the living room to hear, and greetings erupted from everyone.

Rose and I left our station for a few minutes until the guys were all eventually settled in the living room with drinks in hand. Alone in the kitchen, we downed a couple cherry bombs together before refilling the cups and carrying the freshly loaded tray out to our friends.

I was happy to see Emmett getting along with everyone so well, and my fears about any possible personality clash dissolved. Rosalie and I stayed in our own little bubble gossiping and retrieving fresh drinks whenever someone needed one. Jacob smiled at me more than usual, and I couldn't help but smile back every time. Eventually, it was decided that a foosball tournament was necessary, so everyone grabbed their refills and headed to the basement.

Emmett and I were the last ones to go down, and he stopped me at the top of the stairs.

“Garrett,” he whispered in my ear with a hint of his classic Emmett chuckle.

“What?” I said spinning around the face him.

“He's the one,” he laughed. “Am I wrong?”

I didn't say anything, but I smirked at him.

“I didn't think so,” he responded. I knew he was giving himself a mental pat on the back.

I let my smile spread. “How did you-”

“Know?” he interrupted. “Easy. All these guys stare at you and Rosalie like they want to throw you over their shoulder, and I don't blame them for that. But that Garrett guy looks at you a little different. Kind of the same way Jacob does.”

My hand went to my throat instinctively. “Is it that obvious?” My voice was panicked and I felt my stomach drop.

“Chill, Bells,” he said while patting my back. “You forget that I people watch on a nightly basis. I have a fine tuned ability for spotting sexual chemistry. A few psych classes in college didn't hurt either.” A big grin was plastered on his face, dimples and all.

“Okay,” I agreed. I took a deep breath and felt reassured by his assessment. I seriously didn't know what I would say if Jake knew about Garrett and me. It had the potential to be very...awkward.

It made me wonder what Emmett would see if he saw me with Edward, but that wasn’t a possibility.  I could hardly make sense of that situation myself, and I didn’t know how to properly explain it to my cousin.

“Come on,” Emmett said. “And grab a few more of the cherry bombs for you and Rosalie before we go down. I'll drive home tonight. You have fun.”

And have fun we did.

The basement was noisy with shouts from the guys’ games, music thundering on the stereo, Rosalie and I gossiping together, and all the side conversations amongst us. It was a great way to spend our Christmas night.

I kept thinking about what Emmett had said; that Jacob and Garrett looked at me in a certain way, Jacob especially. Even in all my fondness for him, for our arrangement, for our friendship, I never really recognized that he viewed me in any special way. The necklace was such a shock. No one other than my parents had ever given me jewelry before, and definitely never Tiffany. Any piece of nice jewelry would have been sweet and flattering, but the fact that he wanted to give me something with that name, it just felt, well…big.

It gave me a lot to think about.

Things were so simple with Jake in the beginning. It was sex and fun - a distraction from my previous relationship. The fact that we developed a pretty good friendship and understanding along the way was a bonus. Now it had been many months and it was still happening. We weren't a couple, but we were something.  It wasn’t just sex anymore. Not when we actually went on dates and bought each other expensive Christmas gifts.

But in its own way, it was all still casual. I liked Jacob, but had no intention of trying to make him my boyfriend. Things with him were just too convenient and easy. If I wanted boyfriend-like attention, I could get it from him, but at the same time, I wasn't obligated to spend every day with him. He seemed to go along with all of that pretty well, but there were definitely times I saw something in his eyes that was more than lust.

It was all so confusing. If I tried talking to him about it, I might risk ruining a good thing. A part of me wanted to know what he really thought about us beyond the innuendo of nice gifts, dates and great sexual chemistry, yet a more guarded part of me just wanted to keep going like we were. I wasn't sure if I was ready to give up the freedom to spend time with other guys, and I wasn't ready to risk making things awkward and potentially ending my arrangement with Jacob.

I would keep going the way we were and enjoy myself.

Snapping myself back to reality, I pulled Rosalie up and we danced our way to the stairs. We headed for the kitchen and poured more shots just for the two of us.

“I want to dance!” she announced after our second round, leaning heavily against my shoulder.

“Oooh yah!” I agreed. I was definitely drunk and happy, and I was sure she was, too. We were both prime for some dancing, even if it was just us girls. This happened quite often.

She smiled mischievously at me. “What would you say to The Ultimate Christina Dance Mix?”

“Yes!” I exclaimed, jumping up and flinging my arms around her neck. We ran into the living room where she dug through a CD book and pulled out a shiny red disc, holding it victoriously above her head.

I plucked it from her hand, put it in the stereo system, and turned the volume up so that the bass made the floor tremble beneath our feet.  I swayed slightly, shaking the dizziness out of my head and preparing to let loose.

Lady Marmalade played first, getting us shimmying and booty dropping around the room for the extent of the song. We took turns rapping and singing the different parts back and forth to each other, laughing and giggling all along. These were the moments I loved and cherished with Rosalie. We could be silly, stupid and completely carefree together because it was just how we were. It was pure fun.

The next song came on and I threw my arms above my head. “My song!” I screamed, and then I started to sing.

“So what am I not supposed to have an opinion
Should I be quiet just because I'm a woman
Call me a bitch cos I speak what's on my mind
Guess it's easier for you to swallow if I sat and smiled..”

We swayed and yelled the words more than sang the lyrics of Can't Hold Us Down, holding hands and shaking all we had.  This song had become my anthem of sorts after I broke up with James and began living my life again.

Rose joined me as the song went on, getting louder and louder as we approached the chorus, until we were both screaming.

When the Lil' Kim rap came, Rosalie stepped back and allowed me to jump onto the couch. This was “my” part of the song whenever we heard it, and I spit the words out in a very uninhibited drunk white girl way. Actually, I was kind of yelling them as Rose laughed hysterically and shook her ass at me.  I was pleased that she enjoyed my antics and even more grateful that I didn’t stumble off the couch.

By the time I finished my rendition, we had both collapsed on the floor giggling and rolling around.  I loved that we could let go this way when we were together.  Times like this made me forget about all the stress and drama of work and guys.  This was just us being us.

The song ended, leading into Dirrty, and we were back on our feet, excited to dance again. Being the taller of the two of us, Rosalie got behind me as we sang and bumped around. I bent in front of her, giving my best Carmen Electra booty shake on the way back up. She put her hands on my hips and ran them up my sides and into my hair, fluffing the long strands out and pushing me back down for another booty drop as she did body rolls behind me.

It was all too much. I was laughing, singing, and having the greatest time I had in so long. Near the end of the song, I flung myself around to face her for a hug and more exuberant laughter together. I knew she was having as much goofy fun as me.

That's precisely when we noticed our audience.

All of the guys were standing in the doorway smiling at us. When they saw that we finally realized they were there, they erupted into loud applause and whistles, which, in turn, made Rosalie and I fall onto the couch in our embrace and laugh even harder.

When we looked back up at them, Jacob was smirking at me, and Emmett elbowed Felix.

“Lovely performance, ladies,” Garrett said with a chuckle. His muscled chest shook with his subdued laughter. “We heard some screaming and pounding up here and came to see what was wrong. Obviously, nothing is wrong at all.”

The guys laughed again and muttered suggestive words of agreement.

I blushed momentarily, and then pulled Rosalie up by the hand so we could bow together. She looked at me and giggled.

Without letting my hand go, she pulled me through the crowd of our boys and into the kitchen. “Time for more shots!”

Emmett drove us home a little while later - after my brief make out session with Jacob - and offered me some generic words of affirmation about my friends.

He left the following evening, as he was needed back at the club. He tried to convince me to come down to Los Angeles for New Years, but I told him I couldn't possibly afford the trip right now. Despite his assurance that it would be no problem for him to cover my travel expenses, I refused. Even though I knew he had the money, I didn't feel right taking it from him.

His departure was bittersweet, and I couldn't help but feel that same sense of disappointment I always did when I had to say good-bye to my favorite cousin. I relished his last bear hug before sending him off through airport security and promised to try and work out a plan to visit him again soon.

So who's this other guy you've got?
Which other rubes are riding hot-shot, sugar?
I could have swore you said before, "No more, for sure." What'd I believe you for?
You don't love me at all, but don't think that it bothers me at all.
You're a bad-hearted boy-trap, babydoll, but you're...
You're so damn hot.

OK Go

Next Chapter

Previous Chapter

Back to Master List