Second Chances

Title: Second Chances
Rating: MA/NC-17
Characters: Leah & Sam
Warning: character death, explicit sexual reference
Summary:  Leah moves on with her life after Sam and Emily get married, but fate brings her home when she is needed the most. Sometimes life provide second chances, even in the midst of tragedy. Love Through Lemons contest entry - Post-BD/AU

Beta/pre-reader credits: keepingupwiththekids

The visit from the creeptacular Volturi went off better than anyone had anticipated, and slowly life on the Olympic Peninsula returned to normal.  Well, as normal as life can be for a tribe of shape shifting werewolves, a half-breed child, and her bloodsucker family.  All the foreign vampires returned to their homes, and the two wolf packs were able to scale back on patrols.

With a calm settling in the air, Sam and Emily decided to proceed with their wedding.  Only months after Renesmee’s birth, they had a small wedding on First Beach.  The day was warm and overcast.  I played my part as my cousin’s bridesmaid, but skipped the reception, watching from the cliffs overhead instead.

I sat in the rough grass, tucking my legs into my chest.  I wrapped one arm firmly around my knees, and used my free hand to wipe away tears that cascaded down my cheeks.

“I thought I might find you here,” said a deep voice from behind me.  I was neither startled nor surprised that he would seek me out today.  At one time, he could relate.

“Hey Jacob,” I said quietly.  I rubbed my palm roughly against my face, but gave up after a moment.  There was no reason to hide my sadness from my Alpha friend, or to feel embarrassed by it.

I heard a heavy sigh as his large body collapsed on the ground beside me.  “It’ll get easier.”

I laughed at his statement and angled my face to look at him.  “It has never gotten easier.  After all this time, it’s the same.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Me too, but the bloodlines have to stay strong,” I muttered.  “I’ve accepted it – honestly – I did a long time ago.  But that’s in my head.  My heart is a different story.”

“Leah,” he began, placing his massive hand on my forearm.  I glanced at his eyes momentarily and attempted a half smile.  “You should go to Seattle like you talked about.”

“What about the pack?”  I knew deep down that no one would object to me leaving La Push, but my loyalty was so ingrained that I had to ask.

“We’ll survive.  We don’t have any threats since the other vampires left.  The pack has grown.  If anything happens, you will be close.  It’s time for you to live your life.  Go... be happy.”

I sat in silence, ignoring the wedding below, instead focusing on the mesmerizing movement of the ocean.  It should have been difficult for me to come up to the cliffs with all the nights Sam and I spent here, but instead it felt peaceful today.  The water and landscape have always calmed me, and they were coming through for me when I needed them the most.

I’m not sure when Jacob left, but I stayed there for a long time relishing my solitude.  Even as night set in and the air became cold, I remained. 

Seattle had been on my mind for some time.  It was cowardly to run away from my problems, but part of me knew that Jacob made sense.  I wouldn’t be abandoning the pack if I left, I would just be going to live my own life.  I was constantly putting my life on hold for men – first Sam, then my dad’s death, and now my pack brothers.  It felt like a good time for change.

I owed Jacob so much; the least I could do was trust him.  At the time, no one could understand why Jacob would deny his rightful position as Alpha.  Looking back on things, it all worked out for the best.  He was too young to handle that kind of responsibility in the beginning.  Sam and the elders had so much work to do in order to handle the original pack members.  When the division occurred, it was necessary to prevent the possible destruction of both the pack and the Cullen family.  Jacob may have acted selfishly, but he became my personal savior.  Had the pack never split, I would have continued to be subjected to Sam’s mind.

The pack mind was a blessing and curse for all of us.  While it was an undeniably powerful and useful tool, it also eliminated every sense of privacy one might have.  We all knew far too much about Jared and Kim’s sex life, and the last place I wanted to be was in my baby brother’s head.  Sam was, of course, the worst for me.  Not only did I have to see his thoughts of Emily, but I also had to suffer through every memory he had of me…of us. 

Most of the time, it was guilt.  An image of me looking sullen, bitter, or angry would appear, and he would be inundated with regret.  His union with Emily was not his choice, it was his destiny.  I knew he never meant to hurt me, but those thoughts brought me little relief.  The memories that stung the most, however, were the times I was smiling, laughing, carefree.  I didn’t want him to think of me that way…or at all. 

Escaping his mind was my greatest joy in joining Jacob’s very small pack.  Now I had the opportunity to move forward, to leave the Rez, and to live in a world where I didn’t have to be a wolf.  I could simply be a woman in search of her place in life.

I returned home that night and began arranging for my move.  I had been accepted to UDub several semesters ago, but I delayed my enrollment.  With a few phone calls, I could set things in motion and begin school in just over a month’s time.  I pre-qualified for several Native American scholarships and grants, and combined with my small college fund, I would be able to cover my tuition.

Things came together easier than I expected, and time passed quickly.  I was so caught up in arrangements and packing that moving day snuck up on me.  Everyone bid me farewell, and I was on my way. 

After three months, I had made friends, attended parties, and found myself truly enjoying my classes.  I had not phased once since I left home.  I was allowing my hair to grow back out and it hung below my chin.  There was still one issue that distressed me, and Jacob once again came to my aid.

“I don’t want to phase unnecessarily, but sometimes I feel like if I don’t run, I’m going burst,” I lamented into the phone.

“Why don’t you just work out?” he asked.

“I don’t exactly need to with this wolfy bod, Jakers.  I’d like to keep a little of my feminine physique so I don’t end up looking like you.”

“True, but your body obviously craves some kind of physical activity.  You can run on a treadmill or ride a bike.  Didn’t you say something before about trying yoga?”

“Oh I tried yoga and it is definitely not for me.  There is no way I could relax around those yogi snobs.”

“Then major in something that requires activity and fitness.  Be a gym teacher, a physical therapist, play a sport.  Just find something that makes you happy and lets you release the energy, Leah.”

So I took Jacob’s advice yet again.  I joined a gym.  I ran marathons.  I changed my major to physical therapy.  I became a certified personal trainer.  By my senior year of college, I was attending school full-time, teaching classes at the gym three nights a week, and working as a trainer part-time.  That led to my involvement with a company that designs work out programs in the class format and sells them to gyms around the world.  I went from being an instructor to being the person who traveled around the country certifying the instructors who taught our classes.  Seattle was my home base, but I was able to see a lot places I wouldn’t have otherwise.

In the twelve years since I left La Push, I had become my own person.  I had good friends and colleagues, and I still kept in touch with my friends and family on the Rez.  I vacationed in exotic locales, I allowed my slick, dark hair to grow until it fell down my back, and hell, I even dated.  I will admit that dating may not be the most accurate term, but I had an active sex life and spent time with people I enjoyed.  I had dealt with so much speculation that I may have become a lesbian after Sam that I decided to give that a shot, too.  While I was not innately attracted to females, I discovered the appeal of a woman’s soft curves versus the firm, hard plains of a man’s body.  But of all the people I encountered, no one matched the man who had been my first everything.

The reality was I had only returned to La Push two times since I moved away.  The first was during college when my mom and Charlie had married.  The second was more recent for Jacob and Nessie’s wedding.  Both times took months of recovery for me.  Sam and Emily were so happy together, the two of them and their little family.  They had three boys to carry on the bloodline and be the future protectors of our tribe, if they were ever needed.  I hated myself for my jealousy.

I missed home, but it was hard to go back there.  I wanted to spend time with my mom.  Seth had gone away for college, but he returned a couple years ago.  Bella helped him select a school in Phoenix, promising that he would love it there, and she was right. That’s where he met Layla, a Navajo girl he married in her hometown after graduating.  They were now settled in La Push, and preparing for the arrival of their first child.  I wished there was some way I could be there with my future niece or nephew, but I couldn’t bring myself to move back.

I was traveling for work, enjoying summer in the Carolinas when I got an urgent voicemail from my mother.  I returned her call as soon as I was back in my hotel suite.

“Hi mom, what’s going on?”

“Oh, Leah!” she sobbed into the phone.  “I have…I have terrible news.”

I immediately began to panic.  Thoughts of my brother, Layla, the baby, Charlie, my mom’s health, or some disaster on the Rez ran through my head.  A sick feeling was churning in my gut, preparing to expel any contents in response to my mother’s impending news.

“Mom, calm down.  You’re really freaking me out.”

“It’s your cousin Emily, dear…”

“What about Emily?”

“She’s gone, honey.  She’s gone.”

My legs were like jell-o, and I fell back onto my bed.  Despite everything, Emily had been my best friend at one time.  We were not close anymore, but we stayed in touch.  She spoke of the children, but respectfully avoided discussing Sam when it wasn’t necessary.

“Gone?  Oh, god, what happened?”

Another round of sobs broke from my mother’s chest as I waited impatiently for her to give me some explanation.  “She had a brain aneurysm.  Her autopsy shows she had some pre-existing condition that was undetectable.  She’s just…gone.  I saw her yesterday morning with the children!”

I spoke to my mom for another few minutes until Charlie took the phone and filled me in on the rest of the details.  It occurred overnight while Emily was sleeping, so the family was assured that she felt no pain.  They didn’t believe she did anything to cause it, nor did they believe it could have been prevented. 

Tears streamed down my face as I held my cell phone in the palm of my hand.  Charlie ended the call to go comfort my mother, and I was in my hotel alone.  I never hated my cousin.  I never resented her.  I knew from the collective pack mind that she had no choice in the matter.  The response to an imprint is just as involuntary as the imprint itself.  Even if I couldn’t always handle the situation well, she was my family, and I would grieve for her and the children.

I knew I needed to go home and pay my respects, but I was booked solid with work and travel for the next several weeks.  There was no way around it unless I wanted to forfeit my job.

Days turned into weeks, and weeks to months. I still had not been home.  That is, until I received Seth’s phone call – my nephew had been born.  Harold Evan Clearwater.  I cried tears of joy for the newest member of our family, and tears of sorrow for his namesake.  Then I got in my car and drove back to La Push.

I spent the first three days fawning over my new nephew and enjoying the company of my family.  Little Harry was beautiful with a head full of thick, dark hair, and the same russet skin of his parents.  His face was shaped like Layla’s, but his eyes were a mirror image of my little brother. 

“Ya done good, baby brother,” I smiled at him as I held his new son.  “Dad would be proud.”

“I hope so,” he said.  His eyes reflected a bittersweet memory.

“I know so.  He’ll look just like you, too.”

“Leah, please go see Sam,” he said, not even trying to transition into the subject.

“Seth, you know I…”

“What?  You can’t?” he practically growled.  “It’s been months, and he’s still a mess.  No one can get through to him.  No one, Leah.  Do you know what he does on the weekends?  He drops the boys off with one of the families on the Rez and phases.  He spends the weekend in wolf form, and doesn’t phase back until Sunday night when he picks up the kids.  That’s depressing.  The least you can do is talk to him.”

“Seth, we’ve barely said ten words to each other since I left.”

“Who cares about that?  Start over today and be his friend.”

I carefully handed the baby to my brother and found my phone.  It rang twice before he answered. 

“Hey Jake, it’s me.  Wanna go for a run?”

For the first time in over a decade, I phased into wolf form and ran with my Alpha.  At first, the sensation felt strange, but it didn’t take long to reacclimate myself.  Sharing my mind with Jacob was much more difficult.  He agreed with what Seth had told me, and directed me toward where Sam was running.  I could no longer connect with Sam’s mind, but Jacob could.  With a quick thank you, I changed course and ran to Sam.

Both packs are restricted from phasing until morning, so no one will be in your heads.  Howl if you need us.  Jacob thought, and then his mind was gone.

I listened for the thrum of Sam’s paws against the muddy forest floor, and followed the sound.  He held a steady medium pace, and I quickly caught up, falling in step at his side.  He glanced over at me, surprise lighting his eyes, and then disappearing as he continued.  We ran off the Rez and across the natural landscapes of the state.  Through forests and fields, we kept our eyes trained ahead on our aimless journey.  The old rules applied after all these years, and we were unable to communicate in our minds.  I was grateful for my own sake, and for Sam’s privacy. 

After nearly an hour, we came to a clearing and I decided to test his mood. The run seemed to be doing him well, and trying to make him happy came naturally.  I picked up my pace and glanced back at him.  He hung back for a few moments, and then ran a little faster.  He overtook me by a few yards, so I accelerated again.  We went back and forth that way several times, increasing our speed each time.  His wolfy grin grew, and the sadness began to melt from his eyes, temporarily forgotten.  I finally decided to give him a run for his money and ran at my top speed.  I had always been the fastest in the pack, but Sam managed to keep up back then. 

The wind rushed past me as I sped through the quiet darkness.  I allowed the freedom of a good run to fill my body and soul.  My head jutted forward, ears tucked back.  My shoulders were down, my back straight as an arrow.  Running never felt this good as a human, and for a few minutes I was lost in my long forgotten wolf nature until I felt a light nip at my hindquarters.  I dashed forward, and it happened again, this time farther up my leg.  He was gaining on me.  I veered right, spotting a massive fallen tree in the distance.  Sam nipped again, and I swatted my tail in his face, growling out a chuckle. 

I came upon the tree with Sam still following me.  I angled right again, as if I were avoiding the obstacle, and then shot forward, too fast for him to predict my next move.  I took the tree at an angle, using it as a springboard as my body sailed through the air in his direction.  I came down directly on his back, knocking us both to the ground in a playful heap of bodies while I bit into his neck.  He yelped in surprise, and I laughed again.  We were soon wrestling on the forest floor, moss and dirt clinging to fur.  Delighted growls rose from both our throats, tangling together in a joyful harmony.

We rolled, seeking dominance, and nipping at each other wherever we could snap our jaws.  I yelped when his teeth sunk into my paw, and he took my distraction as an opportunity to roll me over and pin my back to the ground.  I panted, exhaustion sneaking up on me from our run and wrestling match.  I attempted to pull my paw up so that I could lick my wound, but Sam’s greater paws on my shoulders held me in place.  I whined, looking into his eyes and then down to my wounded paw.  It was quickly healing, but the instinct to lick it clean was still present.  His hold loosened, but before I could move, he dipped his head down and lapped at the wound himself.

My breath hitched, my entire body stiffening beneath his massive wolf form.  My animal body was larger than my human shape, but he still eclipsed me under his black fur and hard muscles.  I stared as he cleaned the gash his sharp teeth had left.  When he felt satisfied with his work, his head moved back up until it was level with mine.  He stared down at me, and something old, yet familiar danced in his big, black eyes.  His muzzle brushed along the side of mine affectionately.  Nose to nose, and then running along my jaw until our cheeks rubbed together.  I pressed back against him, and he repeated the action on the other side.  We nuzzled one another slowly, sweetly…sensually.  A low growl, one that held no aggression, hummed in his chest.

He pulled away suddenly, standing a few feet away from me.  A surge of guilt ran through me.  I rolled away and stood, my back to him. 

“Lee-Lee,” his human voice called softly.  I turned around in shock, my mouth hanging open at the sight of him as a man. 

I hung my head, not wanting to meet his gaze, but I felt him step closer to me.  I was frozen in place, unable to escape his presence or power.  His hand rested on top of my head, ran behind my ear, and down my shoulder.  I reflexively leaned into his touch.

“Change back for me,” he whispered.

I nodded once, stepping back to bid his request.  The magic surged through my blood, connecting to bone and muscle, manipulating me until I was a woman again; a naked, muddy woman standing in the forest with a naked, muddy man.

Sam closed the gap between us and used both hands to tame my wild hair.  I laughed inwardly, remembering why I kept my hair short when I was active in the pack.  His fingers tangled in my thick locks, picking out twigs and debris, trailing over my shoulders unnecessarily.  Our bodies were mere inches apart.  With each heave of my chest, my breasts angled dangerously close to his ribs.  It was as if my nipples were reaching out to him, begging for a single brush against his warm, smooth skin.

His hands moved to my face, cupping it and tracing his fingers over each slope and curve.  They lingered on my neck, running lightly down my arms until his hands rested in my own.  He lifted the right one first, placing a single kiss in my palm and then did the same to the left.  I gasped at the feeling of his lips on my flesh.  My body jutted forward, effectively bringing us together.  It was so much contact, so much skin to skin, but I carefully avoided anything below our hips.  He rested my forearms over his shoulders, and my hands instinctively clasped behind his neck.  Upon releasing me, his palms moved to my sides, not touching my breasts, but so torturously close.

His long fingers splayed out against my skin, wrapping around my ribs along my back.  Up and down, they moved carefully to my hips and back again.  I watched him look at my body, taking in each reaction to his touch.  After several torturous minutes, I tightened my grasp on his neck and pulled his head down toward mine.  His hot breath fanned across my face, sweet like honey, just as I remembered.  I pulled a little harder, tucking my head into the crook of his neck and pressing my lips to his pulse point.  A small groan rolled off his tongue, spurring me forward.  My lips parted, spreading liquid heat against him and slowly trailing closer to his face.  Purposefully, my mouth moved over his angular jaw, across his cheek and to the corner of his mouth.  My tongue darted out, causing him to turn into my kiss.  Finally, our lips met in sweet surrender.  They pressed together lightly at first, but with growing insistence.  Barely open, they work against one another.  I wanted more.

As if he could hear my thoughts, his hot tongue ran against my bottom lip before sucking it between his teeth.  The light tug made me arch into him, and I felt his strong arms wrap around my waist.  I moaned, opening up and granting him entrance as our tongues danced together, wet and insistent.  No thoughts existed beyond the two of us, right here, right now.

He broke our kiss reluctantly and lowered me to the ground.  My bare bottom rested in a pile of fallen leaves as he brushed away any sticks or stones that lay behind me.  Once he was sure the earthy bed was clear, he carefully pressed me down.  His body hovered over mine, one knee on either side of my left leg.

My body was aching for him.  My hands moved to his back, rubbing and scratching, pulling him closer.  Tipping my head back, I allowed him access to the sensitive flesh.  Heavy breaths overtook me as he moved from side to side, kissing and licking down to my clavicle while his hands explored the flat expanse of my stomach.  I sighed in anticipation as one began the journey upward, finally coming to rest on my breast.  He palmed it reverently, squeezing the firm mound several times before tugging at my nipple.  I gasped, and his name fell from my lips.

He looked up at me, removing his mouth from the hollow of my neck, and smiling slightly.  He planted one firm kiss against my lips before lowering his head to my chest.  Holding my other breast, he descended upon my nipple with his tongue.  He flicked, lapped, circled, and bit lightly.  My body was squirming beneath his as he repeated those actions on the other side.

“Please,” I whimpered, but I wasn’t sure what I was asking.  I would take anything he was willing to give.

I released my fingernails from his shoulders and ran my flattened hands down his muscular back.  They dipped into the small of his back, rounded over his bottom, and one curved around until I felt coarse hairs.  He moaned against my chest where his ministrations continued.  I wedged my arm between our bodies and took his erection in my hand.  Wetness had already begun to pool at the tip, and I smoothed the sticky liquid along his shaft in a few quick strokes.  His hips lifted slightly, allowing me better access as I pumped him in my hand.  He was thicker than I remembered.  I had seen him naked many times in the past when we phased, but never in this state.  It was obvious that the growth of the wolf transformation had affected all of his body.

His mouth returned to mine, tongues tangling in a needful frenzy.  I gripped him harder, and he shifted his legs so that he was directly between my thighs.  I delighted in the impending pleasure, inwardly begging him to take all of me.  His kiss moved back down my neck, my chest, and my stomach until he had slid out of my reach.  I stretched my arm toward him, my shoulders lifting from the ground, but he pressed me back.  The hand that had held me ran flat between my breasts, slowly over my stomach, and rested just above my mound.  He now sat between my knees, his other hand rubbing circles on my outer thigh.  That hand moved inward until it tickled my swollen lower lips.  His other hand still pressed against my stomach.  He was studying my face, taking in every inch of my naked body laid out before him.

Soft and slow, the tips of his fingers teased along my folds.  He briefly swept over my bundle of nerves, but his other hand kept me from bucking off the ground.  His middle finger traced back down toward my opening, pressing between the swollen folds until he was right where I needed him.  At the most excruciating pace, he slid in all the way to his knuckle.  We groaned simultaneously – mine a feminine alto and his a deep bass.  Having crossed the threshold, he began to pump in and out skillfully, adding a second finger moments later.  I cried out again when he dipped down and began lapping at my lips and clit.  He no longer held me down, and I was free to rock my hips to the rhythm of his nimble fingers.

My hands fisted in his hair – the hair that had grown back out over the years of not phasing, just like mine.  It was like heavy silk between my fingers.  The coil in my lower belly tightened, tightened, tightened until I could hold it no more.  His hair knotted roughly in my grasped as I cried out through my release.

“Oh god…Sam!”

He slowed, staying attached to me until I rode out the waves of pleasure he brought me.  As he moved up and settled himself over me, I felt his still present erection resting against my throbbing, wet sex.

“Please say yes,” he whispered against my mouth.  The vibration of his words on my lips tickled, so I pressed our lips together to seek relief.

“Yes.”

With my confirmation, he angled his hips and slid into me with a single, firm thrust.

“Oh Lee-Lee,” he said, readjusting his forearms on either side of my shoulders.  His movements became more insistent, and I rolled my hips to move with him.

His pace was sporadic and crazed.  Fast and firm, and then deliciously slow.  Hard, forceful, sweet, needy.  I allowed him to lead our pleasure course, soothing any inch of his skin I could reach.  Our staggered breaths filled the air, echoing off trees and blending with the quiet hum of nocturnal forest life.  I lost myself in his eyes, his scent, and each sensual rumble in his chest.

His rhythm became steady, hard, and fast.  He was grunting, thrusting with a force that made my body sink deeper into the dirt.  I threw my arms over my head and braced myself against a thick tree trunk.  I held my body in place as he pounded into me, drawing out another climax from the depths of my body.

“I’m coming,” I moaned before a slew of broken syllables poured out of my mouth.

“Oh fuck…fuck…” he growled in response to my walls clenching around his length.  “Is…this…okay?”

“Yes, fuck yes!”

With my approval, he poured into me.  A few sharp thrusts punctuated his released, and his heavy body collapsed on top of mine.

Our breathing was loud and labored, but eventually calmed with our heart rates.  His body slid off mine, his head rested above my breast.  We laid there silently for an immeasurable amount of time, stroking each other’s sweat laden skin while the night air cooled our bodies.

I watched Sam prop himself up on his elbow later, staring intently down at me.  He stroked my cheek and kissed me once.

“Leah, please…”

“Please what?” I asked when he trailed off, closing his eyes.  They opened slowly at my words.

“Stay,” he said simply.  He rolled away from me and quickly phased into wolf form.

I nodded.  There was no decision to make.  Inwardly, I rejoiced.

My wolf body came to me easily, and I trotted to his side.  Something crackled in the air, announcing some mysterious change. 

Lee-Lee?  Are you here with me?

Yes, I’m here.